I am anything but a teetotaler. Ask any of my friends if they’ve ever seen me without alcohol in my hand (after 6pm... okay, when i'm awake) and they’ll laugh you silly. Mind you, I am a responsible drinker. I don’t drink and drive (mainly ‘cause I don’t have a car) and I don’t get shit-faced to the point I can’t remember my name (that’s what friends are for, right?).

I do, however, enjoy a great mug o’ coffee or cup o’ tea. That’s why when the press release from Teaposy crossed my desk… okay, it’s really more like an old door on sawhorses, I had to get a sample. Because very few products end up looking or performing as well as the press release boasts.

The Garden Gift set (pictured above) lived up to all expectations and PR boasts. The cute little Socrates cups (every time I hear/read Socrates I remember Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and pronounce it “so-crates�) are just that, and the tea pots are not only elegant but thoughtfully functional. Granted, the little cups hold about as much tea as I consume in one sip (I solved that prob by drinking directly from the pot), but for a special dinner or meal (or prelude to sex) this is the perfect tea set to bring out.

Wait, there’s more. If you really wanna WOW your guest(s), drop a Teaposy “Blooming Tea� into your pot and watch a beautiful blossom unfold before your eyes. There are eight blooming teas to choose from, each containing silver needle white tea and herbal flowers, stitched together with natural cotton thread. And each produces a wonderfully unique experience and taste.

For more info visit www.teaposy.com.

XXX – Highest Rating

- JC

Trendy as these specialty vodkas may seem, spice- and herb-infused vodkas have been sating drinkers since the spirit first cracked the ice on frozen Russian and Polish faces several hundred years ago. Back then, flavoring wasn't intended for variety. It was necessary to take the edge off the primitive mash, the intense, harsh taste of which could make even the swarthiest drinker breathe fire.

Later, the ability to craft flavored concoctions became the mark of a skillful distiller. Among those who elevated the practice to an art were the Russians and Poles, who've long marketed dozens of flavored vodkas. Among the most unusual brands in Russia are Okhotnichya or "Hunter's" vodka (flavored with a mix of ginger, cloves, lemon peel, coffee, anise and other herbs and spices, then blended with sugar and a touch of a wine similar to white port) and Zubrovka (vodka flavored with bison grass, an aromatic grass which is the cud of choice for herds of the rare European bison).

Flavored vodkas were slow to reach the mass U.S. market, however. Americans first became hooked on "the white spirit" after World War II, lured by the convenient fact that it had "no taste and no smell" (and could therefore be consumed on the sly). And for decades the classic vodka martini or vodka-tonic suited drinkers just fine. It wasn't until the cocktail craze of the late 90s that the current frenzy for vodka variety took off. Luckily, there are plenty of quality distillers out there to satisfy demand.

Among the first to tempt our palates with readily available flavored vodkas were Absolut and Stolichnaya. Absolut entered this niche market in 1986 with its Peppar, an aromatic, complex and spicy vodka that gets its kick from the spicy components in the capsicum pepper family and from fresh green jalapeño pepper. They later added Absolut Citron, Kurant and Mandarin. The newest twist to the Absolut line? Absolut Vanilia, which has a rich, robust and complex taste of vanilla, with notes of butterscotch and hints of dark chocolate. Its scheduled release is this spring.

Stoli was also an early marketer of laced libations, luring many drinkers to the pleasures of flavored vodkas with its Vodka Razberi (made with ripe raspberries), Vodka Vanilla (with the pure essence of Madagascan and Indonesian vanilla beans) and Vodka Zinamon (infused with the zip of cinnamon).

The success of the Absolut and Stoli creations gave rise to a new generation of cocktail concoctions and inspired other distillers to create fresh and unexpected varieties. Among those most likely to turn up at your local watering hole are the infusions of Charbay, which uses fresh fruit to create blood orange, ruby red grapefruit and key lime vodkas; Burnett's, which offers sour apple (great in an Appletini), coconut, raspberry, orange, citrus and vanilla; the artistically designed Vincent Van Gogh Vodkas, whose varieties include Chocolate, Oranje, Vanilla, Raspberry, Wild Appel and Citroen; and OP, a 70- proof Swedish vodka flavored with ginger, orange and peach, and spiced with anise, fennel and caraway.

A newcomer to the flavored vodka scene is Hangar One, a small, quality distiller that uses real fruit and "rare and expensive" ingredients to produce its Buddha's Hand Citron, Kaffir Lime and Mandarin Blossom vodkas. Luscious straight up, these fruit-laced spirits can also be the inspiration for cocktails to die for.

Should a Cosmo with Burnett's Blood Orange Vodka or a Sunflower Martini with Vincent Van Gogh's Raspberry seem too traditional, frighten your drinking companions by ordering up a shot of Blavod, a smooth-tasting vodka colored black by the catcchu herb. While it looks like The Dark Prince's drink of choice, Blavod is surprisingly refreshing in a Black Bull (ice, Red Bull and Blavod) or a Sundance (ice, blue curacoa, soda water and Blavod).

Another far-out blend is Feigling, a fig-infused vodka that comes in a little bottle from Germany. Served straight or with a little tonic and a twist, Feigling is a unique taste and sure to throw a little variety into your drinking repertoire.

If you’re lucky enough to find them, don't pass up a chance to try the Polish Wisent, flavored with a species of bison grass that grows only in the Bialowieska Forest (acknowledged to be the last primeval forest left in Europe), or the Ukrainian Soomska Horobynova (flavored with ashberry) and Soomska Horilka Pryhodko (flavored with St. John's Wort, Buffalo Grass, coriander and lemon).

So your local bar thinks Absolut Kurant is the cutting-edge of flavors? You can still experiment with new ventures in vodka. Roll up your sleeves and concoct your own unique libations. Begin with a quality vodka. While "quality" is in the taste buds of the drinker, general wisdom holds that you’ll get better results and suffer fewer day-after side effects if you stick to a bottle in the $20-and-up range. Purchase anything under seven bucks to use in your infusion and you'll waste culinary effort as well as brain cells.

Recipe for Infusion

The process by which vodkas are flavored is called infusion. This is a fancy word for mixing stuff with vodka and letting it soak. Unless otherwise directed by a recipe, infuse your vodkas at room temperature. Freezing the flavored vodkas after infusion, however, will ensure the best taste.

The easiest way to flavor vodka is with fresh fruit, which both soaks up and flavors the spirit. Just mix vodka in equal portions with ripe, washed and coarsely chopped fruit (peaches, pineapples or strawberries are common favorites). Place the mixture in a glass canning jar, and let the concoction sit for several days. Strain before serving, or leave in a few fruit chunks for munching. This method will work with any fruit, including fresh and sun-dried tomatoes as well as chili peppers. In short, if you can dream it and drink it, you can infuse it.

If you want to venture beyond fruit, give these traditional and not-so-traditional infusion recipes a try. Vodka lovers will find these concoctions delectable on their own (plain or with a garnish), but they can also be used to breathe new life into a favorite old cocktail.

Recipes

(Note: For all recipes use 1 pint of plain vodka and infuse at room temperature for 24 hours. Then strain.)

Anise Vodka: Licorice-laced vodka was a favorite of Peter the Great, so it's got to be good enough for us. Soak 2 t whole anise seed. Serve chilled.

Apricot Vodka: Infuse 12 apricot kernels. Serve chilled.

Cherry Vodka: Crush 36 cherry pits (or thereabouts).

Coriander Vodka: Use 2 t coriander seed, slightly crushed.

Garlic-and-Dill Vodka: Infuse 1 clove garlic, slightly crushed, 1 sprig fresh dill and 3 white peppercorns. Leave a little dill in the vodka, if you're so inclined.

Herb Vodka: Infuse a few sprigs of a favorite herb, such as tarragon or basil. Leave a small bit of herb in the vodka, if you choose.

Saffron Vodka: Use 1/4 t saffron threads.

Tea Vodka: Infuse 4 t black tea leaves (fruit-scented is a nice touch).

Buffalo Grass Vodka/Zubrovka: Use 8 blades of buffalo grass. One blade of grass may be left in the vodka after straining for a little woodland feel.

So next time you order a cocktail, check out the new flavors lining up behind the bar. Flavored vodkas may just be a trend, but they're bound to snare some converts. Bison grass and anise seed aside, 145 million vodka-loving Russians can't be wrong.

“You’re the prowler of the night to the beds of virgins, Oh God what powers you have to gain kindnesses from girls.� (Old Gaelic toast to whisky)

If any spirit sums up what spirits are about, it’s whisky. It adapts to where it’s made, who’s drinking it and why. It can be as sophisticated as high tea and as rough as three-day stubble. Sipped or slugged, it can inspire art or arson.

In a purely anthropological sense, whisky goes hand in hand with bread-eating cultures and climates. The process goes something like this: You grow grain, which you make into bread. You mill your grain and save a bit to sow for next year’s crop, but in the good seasons what do you do with the extra? Give it to the pigs? No way. You make whisky.

Irish Whiskey
What came first, the Irish predilection for drink or the drink itself? It’s a real chicken and egg scenario. Whatever the answer, the Irish did make whiskey first. Distilling had already been around in Ireland for a couple of hundred years when its first historical mention occurs. Apparently in 1276 Sir Robert Savage fortified his troops with “a mighty draught of uisce beatha (whiskey).� Irish whiskey began with the rural poor in Ireland, who probably preferred to drink than eat. These days there’s much more to the difference between Irish whiskey and Scottish whisky than the letter ‘e’.

It all comes down to quirks in production that are utterly Irish and devoid of logic. Although there’s a fair bit of peat in Ireland it was rarely used to dry the malted barley. Coal was preferred. This is the defining difference. That smokiness so apparent in Scottish whisky is not there. Without the smoke screen to mask the flavors, there’s a delicate perfume and a less masculine taste. The Irish also use raw barley as well as malted barley. This evolved not from any desire to make a better tasting whiskey but because there was a tax on malt.

Oats were used occasionally for the same reason. Irish whiskey is distilled three times (as opposed to the normal two) in larger than normal pot stills. The idiosyncrasies of pot stills and the extra distillation produce a uniquely delicate drink. Whiskey made this way is known as “pot still whiskey� and like Scotch is often blended with neutral-tasting grain whiskey.

Jameson, based in Dublin, is a blend of pot still and grain whiskey and sums up what Irish whiskey is all about. The classic Tullamore Dew got its name because its founder was Daniel E. Williams, initials D.E.W. It’s renowned for its lightness. Bushmills is the oldest surviving distillery in the world and is a little more malty than most Irish whiskeys.

Scottish Whisky
Whatever the Irish say, Scotland is the spiritual home of whisky. No other drink is so associated with one country. But until about 1840 ‘Scotch’ as we know it didn’t exist. In the early 19th century malt whisky production was booming. Licensed distilleries had jumped from 125 to 329. At the same time the continuous still was being developed. Invented by Aeneas Coffey (an Irishman!) and patented in 1830, it allowed for the bulk distillation of grain spirit. The blending of malt whisky and cheaper grain whisky from the Coffey stills was a logical step.

Scotch was born.

For the unadventurous it had the same appeal as McDonalds, processed cheese, fish fingers and instant coffee. Its success was guaranteed. Many malt distilleries shut down or operated only to produce blending components for Scotch. Until Glenfiddich decided to stick a toe in the export market in the 1960s, you couldn’t buy a single malt whisky outside Scotland. Thankfully malt whisky has made a comeback. If you’re into single malt you’ll want to taste everything, but here are a few suggestions: Talisker, Highland Park, Bowmore and Lagavulin.

American Whiskey
Whether they liked it or not, whiskey followed the Puritans to America. The Scottish and Irish emigrated too and brought with them a desire to drink and the means to make good that desire.

The defining thing about American whiskey is that it isn’t made from barley. Corn was indigenous to the U.S. and it was corn and rye that were used. No one can agree on when and by whom the first drinkable corn whiskey was distilled. Some say it was the Baptist preacher Elija Craig in 1789, others John Ritchie in 1777, and some Evan Williams in 1783. No matter, Kentucky soon became the state most famous for whiskey and racehorses.

The story here goes something like this. Thomas Jefferson, governor of Virginia at the time, offered 60 acres to any settler who built a permanent structure and grew corn. Sixty acres produces a lot of corn and the excess was turned into whiskey which was then shipped down the Mississippi to New Orleans and traded for Arab horses, which were then ridden up the Natchez trace back to Kentucky. Whiskey and racehorses often go together but rarely is the relationship so symbiotic.

To be called a bourbon, a whiskey need not be from Bourbon County but it must be at least 51 percent sour corn mash (most are about 70�90 percent, the balance being barley and rye) and aged for at least two years in charred, white oak barrels. Charring of the barrels is a crucial part of the process. Said to have been invented by the aforementioned Reverend Craig, the charring opens up the wood and brings out those vanilla and caramel flavors crucial to the bourbon style. Wild Turkey is a classic big bourbon available in a range of alcoholic strengths, while Woodford Reserve is a little more sophisticated and a good sipper.

Tennessee Whiskey is a corn whiskey but it differs from bourbon. It’s smoother and lighter, less sweet and heavy. The reason is charcoal filtering. Newly distilled clear spirit is dripped through a vat filled with finely ground charcoal. When people ask for Tennessee Whiskey they don’t, they ask for Jack Daniel’s.

As ever, language says more about the differences in whiskies than any amount of technical detail. In Ireland a person asks for a whiskey by brand name: “a Paddy� or “a Dunphy� or in rare cases generically as “a ball of malt.� In Scotland they’ll ask for a single malt by name as a dram, nip, tot or the affectionate “wee goldie.� Americans ask for a belt, blast or a slug. Each is a different drink drunk differently. They just happen to be all made in stills, all called whisk(e)y and all have that power to gain kindnesses from girls.

WHISKY

TERMS

* Single Malt Whisky - A term coined in the 1970s during the malt whisky revival, used to define the whisky of one distillery made with 100 percent malted barley.

* Scotch - A blended whisky made in Scotland.

* Irish Whiskey - Whiskey made in Ireland, normally a blend of pot still whiskey with malted barley and grain whiskey.

* Bourbon - An American whiskey with 51 percent or more corn mash aged for two years in charred oak barrels.

* Tennessee Whiskey - a whiskey with no specific grain criteria but normally made with corn mash and charcoal filtering.

menu selection . Visualization and pre-planning are the keys to a smooth flowing and disaster-free evening. Begin buy selection a set of recipes with which you feel comfortable. When creating a complete menu, mix recipes that can be fixed in advance with those that need to be prepared or finished during the party.

A few days ahead of the dinner, spend a half hour during your commute to work (or whenever your mind tends to take a cat nap) and focus on the number of guests, the food, the cooking facilities, and the working space in which you will be cooking. Picture yourself preparing the dishes you intend to make and serving them in the manner you have chosen. If the act of visualizing the preceding steps causes butterflies in your stomach, select alternative recipes, simplify the menu, and/or plan to do more of the cooking in advance.

If you are a certified dinner party phobic attempting to overcome your anxieties, select a recipe that can be prepared earlier in the day, i.e., a curry, and serve it with a simple salad of baby greens. Buy a finger food and a dessert or, more simply still, ask two guests to bring them. In so doing, you can put the mental block of food preparation behind you and focus on the deep-rooted source of your phobia.

pre-production . It's not always possible, and never crucial, to prepare all of the food during the last 90 minutes before your guests arrive, or in their presence. Most of my recipes can be prepared, at least partially, one day in advance. The flavors of some foods, such as soups and curries, actually improve after sitting for a day. Other foods can be prepared in advance and frozen -- although I confess to having little experience in this area because the freezer section in my aesthetically pleasing fifties refrigerator functions exclusively as a frost factory.

The corollary to food improving with time is that some foods lose their zest if prepared too far in advance. Before serving any food, taste it. If necessary, "refresh" it with salt, pepper, lemon and/or a generous portion of the same herbs that were used originally to flavor the dish.

sizing the servings . Unless you have specifically asked how hungry individual guests are, it is desirable to make all portions equal. The first phase of portion control takes place when shopping for ingredients. Sometimes a little hardball may be required. For example, if you were to request twelve 1-inch-thick salmon steaks from your local fishmonger, he would probably cut them from a single salmon. Unfortunately, the cut from the middle of the fish can be twice as wide as the cuts nearest the head or tail. There's always almost another salmon "in the back" and you must stand your ground to get what you need. After all, you are the customer and, per the retail credo, that makes you always right.

To avoid running out of food, prepare a little extra -- even at the expense of having leftovers. When planning for casual parties where additional guests may drop by, or arrive in tow with your invited guests, it's always wise to prepare extra portions of the main dish. At least be sure to have lots of something i.e., salad, bread, veggies, etc.

If you are assembling plates for a seated affair, don't let any plate out of the kitchen until you are certain that you have enough of everything to complete the remaining dishes.

timing is everything . Having settled on a menu and decided which items to cook in advance, slide back into the visualization mode for a moment and imagine that it's 15 minutes before showtime. Will everything be ready at the same time? Are the garnishes prepped? Did you put the rise on?

Return to the present and create a "critical path" by establishing the sequence in which each dish needs to be started, refreshed or reheated. When in doubt, scribble out a running order and stick it on the refrigerator.

When showtime arrives, wait until the last minute to put the finishing touch on delicate foods. As a rule, begin steering your guests toward the dinner table before tossing the salad, adding shrimp to a sauce or steaming vegetables.

the accelerated assembly line . Assembling a large number of plates quickly is a challenge for professional chefs and amateurs alike. Before you begin, think about how you would like the food to look on the plate and how the colors, shapes and textures will interact. Create a blueprint in your mind and plan to assemble each plate identically. Then: